i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
