call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
