mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
