guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
