So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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