I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
