and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
