I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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