He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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