dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
