Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
