You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
