I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
