Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
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Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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