Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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