Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
