Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
