He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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