I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I am naked and annoyed.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
