im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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