is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
