D3 body, D1 cock
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Randomize
