I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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