how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
