problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
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I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
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She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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