A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hippo gnu deer
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
