That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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