Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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