nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
