hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
