TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
