I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
