so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
