why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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