trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
