Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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