i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
