lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
