the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
