i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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