Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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