i was born a porn star she said
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
