Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
