I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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