I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
