He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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