I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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