My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
