therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
