Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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