he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
