he puts the penis in happiness.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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