I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.