You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
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Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
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First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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