Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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