Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
