I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
