we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize