Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
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